Cheer up. There is hope in the world. Who says so? The NRA.

Yes, the National Rifle Association has a message for you besides the one about guns not killing people. I got it as an enclosure with the a local free newspaper in Portland called The Tribune, perhaps in honor of the brave Roman soldiers who led armies of glory-seeking musclemen in a seemingly never-ending quest to conquer the world.

The message of hope is simple: "Life's too short to shoot an ugly gun."

Think about this. Here you are trying to figure ways to pay the mortgage, put gas in the car and food on the table and the NRA is telling you there's more to life than a roof over your head, a way to get to work or a full stomach. What is life, asks the NRA, if you don't have a good-looking piece to blow away people who are trying to take what you have left away from you?

The piece in question is a .45 caliber art work engraced with a "visual history of modern American military history." It would take the NRA to provide a history of history, I suppose, especially one "plated in a durable nickel finish with custom bluing and 24 karat gold-plated accents." Remember, says the ad, that the NRA remains the oldest civil rights organization in the United States as a protector and educator of gun owners." Brings a lump to the throat, right? So why now? Well, it's the hundreth anniversary of the Colt Model 1911 pistol that, as the NRA reminds us, "has endured the test of time." That news hasn't percolated to the majority of street gangs in the U.S. who tend to protect their civil rights with less artistic reminders like the Glock 9 mm or the Sig Sauer. Gangs really love their handguns. Handguns were used in more than 85 percent gang-related homicides in California, according to a report from the state Attorney General's Office. I'll bet that every one of their owners would just love to have one of the gold-plated products

Unfortunately, only 100 of these "finely engraved and individually numbered pistols" will be available to Oregon, but there will be lots more, I'm certain, available to eager buyers in the other 49 states. The enclosure asks you to mention a Promo Code when ordering, but it leaves out a rather important detail. The NRA tells you its capacity (7 shells plus one in the chamber), the barrel length (5") and the weight (39 oz.), but how much is it? To memorialize "the sacrifices the men and women of the armed forces have made to make the United States the freest nation in the world," all it takes is $200 down and $100 a month. For how long? It doesn't say. I guess if you really value the service of men and women who spent their tours of duty ducking bullets, you won't mind paying for these bullet-delivery systems for years. The patriots at American Legacy Firearms, I trust, will praise your dedication all the way to the bank.

Of course, if you don't want to "join with American Legacy Firearms and the National Rifle Association to celebrate 100 years of a protected America," You can always make a sign that says "Love Thy Enemy" or something similarly wimpy and talk to your local priest, minister, imam or rabbi about the role handguns have had in human progress.

There is nothing illegal about any of this. Selling what someone will buy is the American Way. I'm sure the NRA has spent mucho bucks on this ad and somewhere, thousands of kids are putting it up on their wall and dreaming of the day they'll hold one in their hands.

Cheer up. There's hope in the world.

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