Vol. 2 No. 70 Aug. 31, 2007

The Bogus Economist
Iraq, Again

Ramadan, which begins on September 13 this year, is the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. During Ramadan, pious Muslims are required to abstain from eating, drinking, sex or anything else that might distract them from their most important task – worship. From sunup until sundown, followers of the Prophet are told to concentrate on those less fortunate, meditate and pray. So why is a paragraph on Ramadan showing up in a column like this one?

Funny you should ask. The Bogus Economist has had his knickers in a twist over Iraq ever since we were presented with the Al Qaeda/WMD fairy tale over four years ago. Now, America generally has ceased to believe anything coming out of Washington, more than 3600 American lives have been lost and a half trillion dollars has streamed down a gleefully profit-infested rathole. Congress, finally awakened from its perk-induced slumber, is asking annoying questions and at least a dozen resolutions are brewing aimed at getting us the heck out of where we shouldn't be in the first place. As I write, almost everyone who is running for President – and many who are not – are presenting their ideas for salvaging what we can from the wreckage of Mr. Bush's foreign policy.

To assure my place in line, I herewith present another of my Bogus Solutions (BS) , this time to the dilemma over ending our participation in the Iraq civil war (which didn't exist until somebody finally informed the White House) and concentrate instead on fighting Al Qaeda (which wasn't there when we invaded, but is now present in force).

I suggest it might be time for us to take advantage of the holiday when ALL Muslims are called upon to unite – Ramadan – by presenting a plan in which, while followers of the Prophet observe the Holy Month, American troops begin an orderly process of withdrawal.

In return, with the cooperation of devout religious figures from both the Sunni and Shia factions, a nation-wide cease-fire would commence on the first day of Ramadan. Medical supplies and emergency food would remain in place as an offer of humanitarian assistance to Iraq's duly elected government. If the Iraqis couldn't provide such a government, we could offer the supplies to the Red Crescent, the Islamic equivalent of the Red Cross. Violence against the redeployed troops would stop the withdrawal. Since virtually everybody in the region has indicated a preference for us to go home, most people might be more than happy to stop killing anybody until we left.

The advantage of this scheme should be obvious. Since we are currently regarded not just by Iraqis, but by almost all residents of the Middle East, as anti-Islam, withdrawal during Ramadan would indicate a respect for Islamic tradition. The gifts of food and medical supplies, furthermore, would show us to be in accord with the Islamic duty to provide for the poor and needy.

As for the possibility that chaos would descend if we pulled out, it's unkind but true to point out since Mr. Bush decided to shift our attention from going after bin-Laden in Afghanistan to bringing democracy to oil-loaded Iraq, the number of Iraqi civilians seeking shelter in other countries has swelled to over two million– the third greatest exodus of refugees in history. An entire generation of Iraqi children has been deprived of education. Some estimates give the number of Iraqi dead as half a million. Electricity and power are only occasional. Medical care is scarce and getting scarcer as doctors and nurses flee to other countries. The Iraqi parliament took August off. And we're worried about “chaos?”

It was our near-total ignorance of this part of the world that partially resulted in how we're regarded by our “friends” as well as our enemies today. A bumper sticker I saw recently said, “What a shame stupidity isn't painful.” If it were, the screams from our Washington leadership might have alerted us before this mess started.

Sure, my idea about Ramadan may be silly, but it's better than some. I think the best plan so far is Senator Joe Biden's proposal to partition Iraq into Kurdish, Sunni and Shia “states” with a loose central government to bind them together, much as some of our Founding Fathers envisioned the United States. Our two political parties, however, are too busy carrying on the vendetta we call politics to worry about little things like stopping the war until they can figure out a way to get credit for it.

So the Bogus Solution (BS), among many, will sink into the quicksand of obscurity and we'll be treated to lots of speeches, denunciations, posturings, resolutions, counter-resolutions, proposals, counter-proposals, filibusters and accusations until we either come to our senses by ourselves or elect some genuine leaders who will knock our heads together until we do.

When the history books are written – as I hope they will be – the Iraq invasion may stand as the greatest boo-boo America ever made. I feel sorry for the next person we put in the White House who has to try fixing it. As our hardly mourned former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld once said, “It's going to be a long slog.”

And this, readers, is no B.S.

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The Bogus Economist © 2007