The Big Conspiracy

THE BOGUS ECONOMIST
July 12, 2008
The Big Conspiracy

I've always loved conspiracies. They're always so exciting and fraught with intrigue. The Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy, for instance, can be presented in so many different lights that we can see villains no matter where we look. The CIA is always good. Lyndon Johnson looks a little villainous. Castro, the Mob and the Miami Cubans come in for a share of suspicion and everyone has a great time and goes to bed convinced SOMEBODY HAD IT IN FOR JACK. It's pretty obvious Lee Harvey Owswald did, but the rest is just wheel-spinning, good old American conjecture.

The Iraq War Conspiracy was too simple. Bush was an idiot. Cheney was a power-mad fanatic, Rumsfeld was – Rumsfeld, and the Congress was too frightened of being thought guilty of original thinking to do any investigating on its own. This conspiracy idea barely lasted eight years before settling down to a dull pain in the butt of democracy. Now, frighteningly, the Bogus Economist has envisioned a scenario that, if it actually occurred, could keep us wondering for decades. I want to make it clear that I earnestly hope I'm so full of it my eyes turn brown, but I can't get the thought out of my mind.

When Barack Obama goes to Iraq, it will be an historic occasion to which the whole world will be tuned. For the first time in almost a decade, someone will be going to the Middle East to present something besides bombast and baloney. After the Bush era, millions of people may begin to get the idea that America stands for something besides Big Oil and Getting More. Furthermore, present and future enemies – who are convinced the U.S. is an enemy not only of Islam, but anyone and anything that differs from its own notion of the world as it should be, may be drawn into dialog.

Now look at a couple of troubling factors while Mr. Obama is getting ready to go to the Middle East:
1.Anyone with more intelligence than a doorknob knows there are those in this Administration who are after Iran's oil just as they were after Iraq's.
2.People who are betting on the Republicans to avoid an election disaster are also receiving weekly visitors with the permission of their doctors.. They are forbidden to have sharp objects, but can receive candy and flowers. They also cut out paper dolls.
With these in mind, what single event could turn the situation around, prep the American people for war and assure a Democratic defeat in November? How about this?

As Obama is addressing an Iraqi crowd, as he well might do, some semi-deranged nutcase tries to shoot him. Perhaps a bomb goes off. Panic ensues. The President makes a speech bewailing the attempt and broadly hints that it was Iran, not Iraq, behind the action. The fleet, which has been staging maneuvers in the Gulf, steams into position and begins preparations for military action. Vice-president Cheney gears up his propaganda machine, bringing Karl Rove back from Fox News, and, with the help of Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and other non-combatant war buffs, stirs up the American people with a rehash of the Axis of Evil theory. Only people who understand the nature of bad people can save the United States from the Iranian Menace. This is no time for appeasement. This is the time for Republican leadership.

If anyone thinks no one in Washington is capable of something so rotten, think again. Recall the Bush primary campaign of 2000, where McCain, running strongly against Bush, was accused of having fathered an illegitimate black baby and of showing cowardice while in enemy hands. Remember Max Cleland, who lost both legs and an arm in combat, but was defeated for a Senate seat by a Republican who accused him of not showing sufficient patriotism. Who turned Swift Boat into a verb?
The long shadow of Richard Nixon is still present in White House halls. A little trick like this could be a piece of cake.

What happened to Mr. Obama would not be as important to the schemers as what could be done with the resultant rage of the American people. And nobody is capable of manipulating that rage better than the crew that has turned doublespeak into an art where it's bad to pay for things, but fine to borrow; where tax breaks for the wealthy are good for the economy, but better working conditions and better health benefits are inflationary.

This is what I meant when I wrote that I've never wanted more to be wrong. I don't like thinking like this. As someone who loves his country, I've seen what can happen when a bunch of tunnel-visioned would-be despots believe the end justifies the means. I don't think many of the people who have been active in despoiling our democracy are even aware of what they're doing. They probably think it's just part of doing business. It's a kind of Bottom Line.

I'm old enough to remember a group of gangsters who staged a fire in the German Reichstag which they blamed on communists, resulting in the rise of a strong leader who would put things right. I want my country to be better than that. I wish I could forget the stories about Weapons of Mass Destruction and an alliance between Saddam Hussein and Al Queda that got us into the longest war in our history. I wish I could believe again.

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