Ten Commandments Revisited

While dial-spinning the other day trying to find something on my radio that didn't sound like elephants passing gas, I happened upon one of the numerous mike-hugging preachers who try to lure people into heaven by promising them the same kind of lifestyle they themselves enjoy (send twnty dollars).

This particular specimen was railing against the secular humanists, liberals and/or Democrats who were responsible for America's going to hell in a handcar by treating the Ten Commandments as Ten Suggestions and not following them as the infallible Word of God. This preacher was of the opinion that the only way to save our country was to revert to the Bible, capitalism and ethics and thus go back to the good old days of moral government under Hoover, Johnson, Reagan, Nixon and George W. Bush.

As a tireless investigator, I thought this might be a good time to assist the Reverend by invstigating each one of the Commandments and look for role models in the sources mentioned, i.e. government, the financial sector and  various holy books of our major religions. Let's start with the first one: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

O.K. The first thing I had to do was design a measuring tool. I picked the popular media - newspapers, magazines, billboards and TV- to find out which was more important this Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa season: religious observances or commercial enterprises. For every mention of Jesus, Moses or any other religious figure, there were literally hundreds of sales, discounts, smiling Santa Clauses, Rudolphs and Frostys, dancing to the accompaniment of matching songs. Since the holiday season represents about 40% of the music industry's total business and a similar percentage of retail sales, in the race between God and Mammon, Mammon is ahead by five lengths going into the home stretch and increasing the lead every minute. God may listen, but money talks.

This also takes care of the second commandment concerning graven images. The top image on the national flag pole isn't God. It may go by different names, like "the Bottom Line" or "Number One," but it looks an awful lot like a dollar sign.

The third forbids taking the name of God in vain. Have you listened to the radio or TV lately?

The fourth commandment tells us to keep the sabbath day holy. Presumably, this would discourage keeping stores open seven days a week or even on Christmas Day. Hey, how about business? You can't make money when you're closed.

Number five commands us to honor our fathers and mothers. We do. We have Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandmother's Day, and any other day that can become a buying opportunity. We also make it a point of talking a lot about care for the aged and posting lousy scores in actually caring for them. Of course, it's a different story if you can afford five grand a month for a nursing home.

Six: "Thou shalt not kill." Are you kidding? It's part of our national policy. Today's news related our new philosophy of "Shooting more bad guys." Or people who are probably bad guys. Or people who might be bad guys or people who were walking next to some bad guys. Bumping off leaders we don't like is old hat. Unfortunately, we can't ask them to confirm or deny the charge. BTW, if you really want mass murder, try the Old Testament.

The seventh commandment advises us to stay away from adultery. Come on - what would happen to Congress and the NBA if people stopped cheating on their wives? Well, there's always golf......

Stealing (number eight) is a broad term. It isn't too much of an extension to include the whole banking industry.

False witness is the entire foundation of political campaigns and advertising. Call the other guy (or product) enough bad names and people will flock to your side. Psst - Obama's a Muslim.

Last, we have the prohibition against coveting your neighbor's house, wife, ass, etc. I maintain coveting is the basis for our entire economic system. If you covet something, you'll buy it or steal it(!). If you accept that what you have is good enough, the economy collapses. Try imagining a non-coveting society and think about cell phones, iPads, home theaters and new cars. If you experience a conflict, you'll understand the point.

The conclusion I've reached is that liberals or conservatives aren't to blame for our decline. It's the hypocrisy we are exposed to 24/7 and its effect on us. And only we can stop it - if we're willing to take the consequences.