Vol. 1 No. 61 April 27, 2007
The Bogus Economist
Help Wanted

In any discussion about welfare, you'll hear the guy on the Right say people don't want to work and the guy on the Left argue the reasons for this are the miserable status (and pay) of the jobs themselves. I have to side with the guy on the Right. I can show you a position with more status than Donald Trump has hair along with a sizable paycheck to boot. Yet this plum of a job is going begging because no American has come up so far with anything except “Sorry.”

My source is a story in the Washington Post claiming the President of the United States is looking for a person with deep military background to be “a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies.”

Talk about status. Here's a chance to get on the phone and tell Condoleeza Rice her seams are crooked or Defense Chief Robert Gates he needs a shave. As a bonus, he or she gets the unique opportunity to steer the Bush ship of state into Baghdad harbor (figuratively, of course) and proclaim “Mission Accomplished” - again. Plus, with this powerhouse of a job comes instant access to the Oval Office, escorts, assistants, probably a gigantic desk near a window and the chance to put “czar” before your name.

So how come the response so far is similar to that of gulping a glass of warm cod liver oil? At least three -and as many as five – retired folks with four stars on their retired collars have politely declined the czardom. These include, beside Marine Gen. John Sheehan, such military luminaries as Army Gen. Jack Keane and Air Force Gen. Joseph W. Ralston. The only one who has explained his position so far is General Sheehan, who used a typical Marine directness. “The very fundamental issue is, “ said General Sheehan, “they don't know where the hell they're going.”

This seems to be a logical reason to just say “no,” although in General Sheehan's case, it's also understandable why he wouldn't want to chuck a job as an executive at Bechtel Corporation exploring Middle East oil supplies to do the much the same thing in the name of national securrity. As for the other fellows, they could simply desire to spend more time with their families. But Sheehan's statement that the people currently in charge can't find their rear ends with both hands is pretty serious. Does this reflect on the Commander-in-Chief?

After the WMD's, the “link with Al Queda,” Hurricane Katrina, the conviction of Scooter Libby, (truth problems), the latest presidential show of support for World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz (girlfriend problems) and embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales (competence problems) , this is a distinct possibility. The new strategy of trying to find yet another person to coordinate the Middle East madhouse seems a bit like overkill. We now have Defense Secretary Gates, National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley and General John Petraeus, all of whom are more or less in charge. I suppose this is why they need coordination.

At least we have some idea what the White House ad could look like: “WANTED: Excellent candidate with people skills to take over as czar of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Lots of experience required, including, but not limited to, complete loyalty to the President in dealing with opposing views. Ability to recognize absence of vision, cohesion or financial responsibility not required. Dealing with people in Washington who don't know where the hell they're going is a must. Submit resumes as soon as possible,”

Don't get me wrong- the execution of the wars needs help. Stuart Bowen Jr., the special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction, released his latest report on the lessons hopefully learned in a campaign that threatens to cost a trillion dollars or more. According to a story in the Washington Post, it detailed a series of mistakes, delays and missed opportunities. The words “mistakes, delays and missed opportunities” have been heard before, but the blame seems to have wandered all over the place. Maybe it's looking for a new place to land.

The current belated Help Wanted sign by the White House isn't getting any takers because it's gone up about four years too late. We should have asked the U.N. for more advice before diving into waters about which we had very little information, a lot of it being wrong. We've been swimming in these waters with an increasing number of nasty sharks since 2003, and it may be time to climb out and get dry.

Whoever the next person in charge may be, he or she is going to have one heck of a job. This mess isn't going to be solved in four years – or four decades. We're facing the longest term rescue effort in our history. Not only will the next Chief Executive have to figure out how to reduce our nine trillion national debt, but also how to rebuild the damaged reputation of what once was the hope of the democratic world.

The “Help Wanted” sign is hung over 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and it doesn't mean we need a czar. Just a leader.
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The Bogus Economist © 2007