Celebrate

Aug.1, 2008

THE BOGUS ECONOMIST


January 20, 2009 will be a great day for the United States, not to mention the world.

Not only will George W. Borrow finally leave the White House, but we'll actually get a president who can speak coherent English, listen to ideas that don't emerge solely from (Dead Eye) Dick Cheney and actually consider taxing corporations as if they were people (which the law considers them to be). Good news, indeed. But how will we (and the world) mark the occasion?

One suggestion is a sober day of thanksgiving in which we express our gratitude to God that the country we love has actually survived eight years of avarice, corruption and constitutional destruction. True, we're in a recession, our fifth year of war and seeing increasing inflation and a housing crisis, but at least we're still reasonably sane with the exception of some of our lawmakers and a couple of our Supreme Court justices. This kind of solution would satisfy the religious Left and perhaps be a rallying point for those who were seeking a good reason to return to the Fold. I, being less of a religious mind set, have an alternative.

I propose January 20th, 2009 be set aside for the world's biggest party. The name of the celebration would be the Global Goodbye Bush Bash (GGBB). In it, people from the four corners of the earth would be invited to guzzle beer, kill chickens, dance, sing or otherwise mark in their own unique cultural manner the end of the Bush era. We might see camel races in parts of the Middle East, pasta contests in Italy, wine-drinking sprees in France or bull fights in Spain. All over the world people would have a chance to rejoice in the end of Bushiness and, hopefully, the start of new era of political sanity in the leadershp of the Free World.

It's clear that not everyone is going to be happy with the GGBB. Republicans who don't remember what conservatism used to be may shed a tear or two, CEOs at firms like Halliburton may try to drown their sorrows, dictators who have been propped up by U.S. taxpayers in the name of the War on Terror aren't going to be pleased and Ann Coulter will be absolutely miserable, but that's the way the ball bounces. Some countries may not participate out of genuine confusion. China won't know whether to tell its people to be happy or sad and may settle for just telling them to shut up. Pakistan will really have a problem as will Egypt.
India may not notice since they will be too busy making money and grooming themselves for world leadership, aided by American companies who are making out like bandits thanks to India's low wages.

In America, the Bush Bash should be a real occasion. Since less than 25% of the people like the way their president is running things and even fewer approve of his VIce-president ("So?"), we should see some genuine whing-dings. It's an open question whether Texas, the home of tailgate barbeques, will join in, but there are encouraging signs. It's agreed that Tom DeLay won't participate, nor will Harriet Myers. Karl Rove isn't expected to show up, either.
In other states, we probably won't get much response from Michael ("Heck of a job, Brownie") Brown, Alberto Gonzales may stay at home and Donald Rumsfeld isn't expected to show, even though everyone knows he's the life of the party.

All together, it should be a humongous thing. Tell your friends about it. Write to people overseas, have a Goodbye Bush Bash house party, write letters to editors. Spread the word. Just remember something like this doesn't happen often.

Only when we get sick and tired of second-rate leadership, tired platitudes and lies.

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